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Welcome back. So good to have you here. I have been having an absolute blast sharing tips and tricks and awesome content and stories and so much more to come. We haven't even touched on the [00:01:00] mental health and wellness. We have not talked about the health benefits of vocal exercises and breath work.

Breath work in itself is 10 episodes all by. Today's topic, the art of confidence, how to Speak your Mind without fear and judgment. Woo, that just feels so heavy. But, but what feels more heavy to me are the amount of people on the planet that are living in. Of judgment being judged from everything, not just speaking, you know, how they look, how they are, where they grew up.

It, it just, it's it's saddening. But the great news. Is, we don't have to stay stuck in those thoughts when, and they're exactly that. It's our perception, it's what's going on in our own head. Because [00:02:00] truly what I've, what I'm learning, what I'm gathering with the the, how many years I've been on the planet now is really nobody cares Nobody cares. There was a point in my teaching, I think early on in my practice with the vocal coaching. It was all I, I mean, it was my everything besides my family and my, my kids and all that. It was like the number one thing that, you know, I thought the whole world should be doing voice lessons take doing vocal coaching.

And I remember times where I couldn't understand why my clients. Or, or prospective clients did not see the value in this information. I could not understand when they did not get as excited about vocal coaching and all of the content and the great information that was out there to consume. I could not understand why others were not as excited as myself.

And I've shared in [00:03:00] some previous episodes that, you know, that's been part of my growth, that's been part of me working through my own shadows and childhood stuff and taking it personally when people aren't as excited about something as I am or taking it personally. If. Others were not in agreement or couldn't see something the same way I saw it.

And one of the things I've learned and I, I shared before you, my kids have been wonderful teachers. You what? Great, amazing gifts children can be. Boy, they bring out the best. I will speak for myself. My kids have brought out the absolute best in myself, and they've brought out pieces of me I didn't even know were there deep down, buried there that I've worked through, but I, I They taught me there's more than one way.

There's more than one way to get anything done, to get anything accomplished, to take care of any [00:04:00] task, to present any type of piece of information. And it doesn't make any way right or wrong. It just is another perspective. It's another way to get it done, and I'm all about efficiency. I'm about results.

I'm about, you know, what's the quickest way we can get you from point A to point B and have you at least the clients that I work with, you know, how can I help you gain the greatest transformation in the quickest way possible so you can get on with your life and get out there and have some fun with your voice and your confidence, and stop worrying about what other people think.

Right. It's huge. It's so huge. I've, I've done market research on and off, formal and informal, you know, current clients, past clients, prospective clients. It, it's the common denominator. It is the one across the board when I really dig down and I ask them, you what is holding you back? [00:05:00] Fear. Fear of.

what Fear of making a mistake. Fear of being judged. Fear of fear itself. And I'm not talking just adults, I'm talking, I, I've worked with teenagers, I've worked with elementary school kids, and I, and it's happening earlier. I'm seeing this, this, whatever this is, I'm seeing this take place. with People getting younger and younger and younger.

And my most recent you know, an eight year old, what is that? Like third grade, second or third grade, she could not put words to what she was trying to share with me, but in giving her language to share, that's what it came down. to I don't feel comfortable [00:06:00] singing on the playground during recess because the older girls are watching me and I don't, I don't want them to make fun of me.

Right. I mean, God, even just saying that like my heart, my heart is like moving, like there's, it's heartbreak. You know? I wanna cry because there's too many people. Roaming around the planet this way, and we don't have to, you know, there, there are tools. There are you, we can be free of everybody else's judgment and, and the number one thing.

And today I have thought today I'm giving you your guide. This is your how to Speak Your Mind Without Fear and Judgment Guide. I'm giving you five more tips. You can start practicing right away. But before we jump in, I have another story for you. This story is about Leslie. This is Leslie's [00:07:00] story. It's not about her.

This is Leslie's story cadence. So Leslie names have been changed. Strong, independent, creative. She professional. I'm not sure if she's still doing it or she's retired, but she was a controller for a business. Okay. She's handling all the money like this. Like she has been trusted. She's, you know, probably signs, checks, like this is a huge position, right?

It's right up there with, you know, C E O C F O. Like she's, she's in charge of some big stuff. She's raised a couple of great adult kids, but completely frustrated. Because at work she's great. She, in this case, she feels respected at work, she's confident, but in her own home, she's constantly interrupted.[00:08:00]

She doesn't, she has stopped speaking in her own home because in her words, she doesn't bother to speak up anymore because she doesn't believe anything will change. It's not worth her energy. These were her words. Not worth my energy to interject my thoughts. My ideas contribute to the conversation, and what she doesn't know yet is that she has way more power to change this thing happening in her relationships at home.

She has more power to change it than she. So, you know, here's a situation. This isn't even work related for this person. This is actually at home with a spouse and kids. So perfect segue. I love when it works this way. The first thing that we need to do to get over worrying [00:09:00] about what other people think is we need to believe in ourself.

Right. We, we are at the same time. I think we are our greatest worst enemy. Right. I, you know, we, we, I will speak for myself, you know, judge myself more severely. I'm more hard on myself than, you know, any, you know, coach or mentor or parent or sibling. I don't know why that is. I don't know if this is a cultural thing with us.

I don't know if it's a female thing. I don't know if it is. False humility. Somebody gives us a compliment. And what is is typical, generally is we, we, we negate it. Oh, oh, you know, oh, you, oh, that's a gorgeous jacket you got on today, Sloane. This really is a pretty jacket. If you're, you're on the YouTube, you can see it.

It's beautiful, [00:10:00] gorgeous blue, beautiful. But my old Sloan, the old Sloan something. What a beautiful jacket you have on Sloan. I'd be, oh, oh, this whole thing. Oh, you know, it's nothing. Instead of commanding last episode, commanding my own self-respect for myself and receiving, right. We deflect compliments instead of receiving the compliment and saying, I thank you very much.

Yes, I love this color. I. Beautiful in this color. Right. We this is another thing that really bugs me, and this was so bad. There was a whole commercial campaign on this a few years back, and it was, it was geared primarily towards women and girls. I'm sorry, you're at the grocery store and you bump into somebody with your basket, or you're trying to get around and apologizing for navigating.

The [00:11:00] aisle at the grocery store. Why? Why are we apologizing for what appears to be like we might be in somebody's way? You know why? I mean, we,

I am so mindful of that language that I don't do it anymore. And I think it was, it was like a reflex. We are apologizing for the most trivial things that we shouldn't be apologizing for. You know, I, I tell my clients all the time, you know, they come in, I'm sorry, you know. Oh, I'm, I didn't do it right. Oh, I'm sorry.

What? Stop with the, I'm sorry. And save it for when you've really messed up. Right ladies, I'm telling you. Stop with the, I'm sorry. It was a campaign. You might have seen the commercials, and it was all these different scenarios and little vignettes of women apologizing doing this very thing. I don't know how much of an impact it had, but [00:12:00] number one, speaking our mind without fear and judgment, it starts with us speaking the truth to ourselves with love and acceptance and appreciation, and not apologizing for things we shouldn't be apologizing.

Right apo, you know, apologizing for, you know, our toddler who's throwing a fit in the grocery store because she's hungry, angry, and tired. Right? We don't apologize for that. That's a toddler expressing themselves and the only way they know how to express themselves, right? I'm not saying, you know, let our kids run wild and you know, belittle, tyrants, but you know, we're apologizing for things we shouldn't.

So anyway, I'm gonna go on number one. Believe in yourself. Leaving yourself. Two. I've spoken a lot about preparation, the importance of preparation and practice. I, you know, I do think that we can practice something to the point that it's, we, it's [00:13:00] dead, right? That it's lost all its color and all of its flavor.

I've, I've run into this with songwriters and you know, where they've, they've written a song. Or even in, in performance or getting ready to do a presentation, or you're gonna do a pitch where, you know, there, there's a, a fine line. Like that's, that there's that curious space where you're creating and you're building the presentation or you're writing the song, and, and then you get to that point, you're like, oh, you know, I should, you know, I should tweak that.

Or I could, you know, I could change that a little bit. And then, and then before you know it, you've crossed the line. Where now we're getting into the law of diminishing returns, and now it's starting to actually lose its life. It's starting to lose. Its, its flavor, its excitement. So, you know, I do believe that, that you, it is possible to over practice.

So it really isn't, you know, this is where a coach is really helpful to run this stuff by you know, to work on your [00:14:00] content with somebody, you know, a mentor or a colleague at work. You know, but, but there is something to be said for preparing, being prepared and practicing. And what is is great is if you've gotten a point, I went into this with my singers a lot.

If they're getting ready to perform or do a showcase, and these aren't emerging artists and, and professional, these are more my hobbyists, where They're absolutely sick of the songs that they're going to be performing. They cannot sing them one more time, which actually make them the perfect song.

To share in a showcase because you know it so well inside and out. This is the stuff that when you go to bed at night, this is what's playing over and over in your head. That is the song to do at the open mic or share at the karaoke or whatever you've got going on there with your voice. So, there is something to be said.

For being prepared. Focus number three, [00:15:00] focusing on your message. And this is really important. I think one of the things that trips people up with anything you're getting in front of an audience to sing, to present, to run a meeting, to do a pitch, to venture capitalists, you're raising money.

We get caught up in the audience and what they're thinking instead of the message that we're delivering. And then we are, have also fallen out of service. So I have found a, an extremely useful tool with all of my clients to date. This is, has, I think that it's worked. It certainly works for me. It has been working for many years for me, if I.

Am not in service when I'm in, when I'm in service. When you're in service to who you are presenting [00:16:00] to, there's no space for you to be in yourself. You can't be in your head and in yourself. I mean, I guess we can, we could, we could be in service and, and in self at the same time. But what I find with my clients, they have to get up in front of an audience is I've really tried them, tried to help them.

Change that mindset and take the focus off of them and be in service to the audience that they're about to speak to, that they're about to sing to, that they're about to present something of value to. Because when we are in service, it doesn't matter what the audience is thinking about us, it, it just, it's, it cancels it out.

It's kind of like love and fear, right? Fear. Fear in. We can't be in fear and have faith simultaneously, one will cancel the other out, right? Same with love and fear. I don't think, you [00:17:00] know if if we are in fear, we're out of love. We are not being in love if we are truly being of service. There's no room for self.

We're not thinking about ourself. And that comes across, that will come across on the stage, that will come across on your Zoom calls, that will come across on a phone call. Literally, like you don't even have to be, be in touch face to face with the people. In fact here's a fun experiment for you to try.

Do a recording. I use voice memos a lot with clients. We're always recording ourselves. Turn a recording on and just, you know, say a couple of sentences with a frown, like really like, like really downer face, and then rerecord the same two lines. Do it again, but with a smile on your face. And turn, turn it off.

And listen to those two recordings side [00:18:00] by side. And tell me you don't hear a dramatic difference. So again, something to be said for getting yourself into state, right? Your, your attitude, your energy, your, the frequency, the vibration that you're operating at. All of that. All of that really, really helps.

We have talked number four using confident body language, and I've talked a lot about this in the last couple of episodes, right? Are you playing small? Are you shriveling up into a ball? Are you trying to hide out, you know, behind nothing in front of you? You know, podiums, get out from behind those podiums that is like your blank.

That's, it's, it's a, it's a safety net. It's a comfort thing. Get out from behind it. It is not, it's not, you are not serving your audience. If you are speaking from behind a podium, ladies, leave the podium. Get out in the middle of that stage, [00:19:00] work that stage, work that audience. Right? I can't imagine. If there's, if there's anybody listening to this and you're speaking to, you know, giant halls of people, I cannot imagine that you're behind a podium.

But if some fight, some chance, you're listening to this and you're one of those people, please get rid of your podium. It's not serving you. It makes you look small, it makes you look scared. You know, there, there's one exception, one, one exception, and so much grace because she's like my new best friend.

I absolutely love her. Shout out to Sandra Yancy if any of my e-net women are seeing this. And you were at the Women's Summit with Sandra who came out from Texas. She is the founder of E Women Network. It is a global little plug for e. Global organization. The goal in this organization, their premise is 1 million women earning 1 million in revenue.

[00:20:00] Beautiful organization. Everybody I've met there, any of you ladies watching here today thank you so much for your love and support. So the exception to that is Sandra did show. At the summit. It, it's, it's was the only time probably ever that she hung out behind a podium because she was very ill.

She wasn't feeling well. She had air travel. There was, she was just, she was, she was, This was one of those cases, right? It's booked that people are coming. She couldn't cancel. God bless her. You would not know it. She was just as funny and, and empowering and exciting to, to watch and listen to, but this was, this was the only exception to hanging out behind that podium.

Because she wasn't feeling well and nor did she wanna infect everybody else in the room. So, but, but you know, under normal circumstances, ladies, if you're, and even is, it's small group. You, if you're in networking clubs, if you're in a leads club and you get up in front of the room and I've got the little podium there, [00:21:00] you know, even if you only have five feet to stand to get out from behind that podium, get out from behind.

It doesn't serve you, and it, it puts a, it's a divider between you and your audience, right? I see this a lot with the music community singers, songwriters, you know, whether emerging artists and doing tours and recording, or people that are just singing for a hobby that play other instruments piano or guitar.

Frequently they come in and that second instrument. Is like the podium, it's like the, it's the security blanket. It's that thing to hide behind and put between them and their audience. And I say the same thing, you know, at some point you gotta set that instrument down and just go all voice. It's just gotta be all voice.

So, and then we bring those worlds back [00:22:00] together. And certainly, you know, if they're a writer and they're writing with the instrument, you know, as a tool but anything you put between you and your audience is not serving anybody. So come out, they're not gonna bite you. You're gonna be okay, I promise.

And then number five, embracing failure. Failure is feedback. The only way you can fail is if you stop, right? Keep, just take the feedback in so it didn't go as planned, so you forgot part of what you were supposed to present so you, you know, tripped over the cable. Gosh, make a joke out of it. It can't be much worse than some of the things we've seen on, you know, network television.

Things celebrities are doing. My gosh, right? So in review, number one, believe in yourself. Number two, how to [00:23:00] speak your mind without fear of judgment. Prepare and practice. If you know your stuff, you are the expert. You know your material, you know your content, they're not gonna know. Your audience isn't gonna know if you forgot or left out a.

You're the only one who's gonna know, and the audience is only gonna know if you let the audience know. You roll your eyeballs, you make a comment about it, you go back and make a, make a fuss over it. Just go. Just go with the flow ladies. Number three, focus on your message and being of service instead of worried about what the audience is thinking.

Number four, use confident body language. We've talked a lot about that. Please take up space. Get out from behind that podium. And number five, embrace. Failure. Failure is our friend. Failure gives us feedback. It lets us know where we need to make tweaks, where we need to make [00:24:00] changes. It it, it improves everything.

And I know, you know, it's, it's hard. It's hard to do that, and I have struggled with that myself. I just, I think the more that we do this, the more practice, the easier that it gets, the more fun that it gets. It's a, it becomes a game. It truly becomes a. So with that, oh my goodness. Thank you so much. I'm so incredibly grateful that you're here however you found me.

Whether it was through the podcast or the YouTube or an email keep coming back. Please check out all the resources available to you, the website, the YouTube all vocal coaching by Sloan. Ladies, if you are not already in our group, come over and play with us and the find. Voice rocked your confidence.

Facebook group is a private group, women only, sorry, guys. Not, sorry. Come over and play ladies. I've got a ton of fun stuff going on in that group. I have a [00:25:00] masterclass coming up here pretty soon. It's going to be free, it's going to be housed out of that container. Hour and a half. All things voice all kinds of fun, great stuff.

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